If you already know what I’m talking about, the chances are that you have my lost item.

LOST:

3 USB Keys (1xBPP + 1x256MB + 1x1GB) all attached to a chain with a BELL (so I WILL hear you if you jingle around campus with my USB’s- you’re not smart enough to hand them in so you’re probably not smart enough to remove the bell AND/OR you’re just evil and/or forgetful- I don’t really like to judge) and a kogepan of great sentimental value is also attached to the chain.

This is a kogepan*:

 

My 3 USB keys were last seen in the ground floor reception computer room. They contain personal documents of immense importance, blog notes (how you found your way here), photographs and my work. BOOOOO!

The BPP USB will make MY journey to being a lawyer much easier and this is of particular relevance to YOU as I will probably get to defend you for someTHING one day. Wooooo.

There is a MASSIVE REWARD for finding it and handing it in to reception.

Don’t be mean!

Sob!

What will I lose next? My house keys? Am I going to step out in front of a bus? Fall down the stairs? Fall into the gap that I’m constantly told I should be minding? Am I going to lose my mind? Where was my mind- where was I when my USBs were jingling out to me, with the voice that I dressed them with, asking me to stop and pick them up? Am I going to fail my exams? Fail everything? Such brainskip behaviour is profoundly unacceptable. And JUST as I was beginning to be inspired….

* Kogepan is a ‘burnt bread [boy]’ and is a character creation of Sanrio. His story is rather poignant and his ethic is encouraging. He was a small ball of dough, just like all the others. But when he was being removed from the oven after becoming a joyous roll of bread, he fell from the back end of the tray and was burnt in the heat of the flames and now nobody wants to buy him. He is unblissfully unaware that, were he to be bought, he would be eaten. In his sourness, he sits around drinking milk all day and feeling divorced from the world. But this does not detract from my own feeling of loss so give me back my USBs.