Category: Ego-Slap


Crowning Glory

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None But A Healer

I type this on behalf of Toobaa. She tried to do so herself but, having scalded one hand and made the other miserable with a collision in a bus (yes, in a bus), she missed out half the letters on the keyboard and has resolved to have me exercise militant grammar control and vocabulary checks and scribe her musings on this recent bout of health appreciation. It also excuses, at least in this entry, the matter of Toobaa referring to Toobaa in the third person, without suffering accusation of egobesity*.

Back when Toobaa was Toobee (to be):

It was still reasonably safe to leave the front door open on a beating summer’s Sunday, and, this being the case on one occasion, most of Toobee’s family had given in to post-lassi siesta. We maintain the exception of Toobee (who rarely drank lassi and, even if she had, would choose not to nap during daylight hours but, rather, to potter around and observe what happened around the house whilst all were slumbering on top of their blankets instead of beneath them). Papa would traditionally nap on the armchair  to the tune of a wildlife documentary. It was on one of these Sundays that he had awoken and recounted to Toobee what happens to an injured monkey in their fission-fusion social system.

Large communities of monkeys break up into smaller troops competitively foraging for food. If, during this foraging, a monkey is injured, with a small cut for instance, when he returns to the others, unable to disguise his anxiety, they will be compelled to inspect the wound to ascertain how serious it is. One by one, each monkey will take hold of that area where the wound is, and push and pull the skin around it, perhaps poke the wound itself and take a closer inspection. As each monkey does this, the wound becomes bigger, dirtier and more detrimental to the monkey inflicted. And, of course, to the interests of the troop. By the time the final monkey has inspected the wound, causing it to be far worse than it originally was, they conclude that the wound renders that monkey far too much of a hindrance to the overriding objective of the group, and that monkey is excluded and left behind…

Perhaps it was because of this, but Toobee was ever since fascinated with how freely human beings volunteered their non physical wounds under the ‘shared=halved’ principle. How often did this halving really occur? Enough times to designate to it a principle? She doubts so, she says.  Doubling is more likely, even trebling, if the monkeys are anything to go by.

Show your wounds to none but a healer (note that The Healer by default knows long before you will – there is no duty to notify on this occasion). Be cautious of who you permit to apply to qualify to be your healer. Once they have begun along the application track, give them time to learn your overriding objective, and you theirs, before preparing yourselves, bravely, for one anothers’ diagnoses.

That will be all.

Signed

Toobaa’s Right Hand

on behalf of Toobaa

Date: 20 March 2010

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*Egobesity n. the description of an ego made over-sized by artificial inflation, over-indulgence or frivolous delusion. See ego-slap.

Post Ego-Slap

This is Toobaa after the Ego has been slapped out of her.

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Toobaa growled and growled. Naughty A Levels. BAD A levels. The ‘A’, it would seem, was little more than an assimilation vowel between the clear and sharp rap of two other undermining consonants; one terribly average and the other shamefully confusing. The string of stars had been chewn to pieces and she had only just noticed.


She had first met Ego at 6AM. Super-ego and Id were both eloquently trying to impress her with their rhetoric.

Id: You owe no duty of care. You should not respond. Go back to sleep.
Super-ego: You certainly do owe a duty of care! Wake up!

Ego tried to mediate but Toobaa knew better. She knew that, theoretically, women weren’t thought to have much of a Super-ego at all. I know what you’re playing at. Snooze.


And yet, she had been ruthlessly purified. Arrogance and pride, even as regards one’s spelling, is punishable and punishable by awe-inspiring ruin.

Why don’t we take a few steps back, Toobaa… What do you say?

Look- Cover- Write- Check! There’s a good girl!

[Ego-slap: Noun. A term referring to any event, expected or unexpected, which is reasonably drastic in humbling a person or group of persons. (Source: Toobaa’s Gymnalinguistics Dictionary, p.49835)]