This time last year, tarmac was peeling off the ground with girlies’ flip-flops.

Exhibit A: Yesterday’s weather.

And so I declare, yet again,

I am going on a bike ride.

A route through the country. Records show that Deeja and I have been trying to achieve this for the past couple of months now but to no avail. On the run up to every day we’ve planned, the weather soothsayers have said that our chosen day will be filled with tycoons, storms and floods. Each time the day has finally rolled round, and we have cancelled our plans, it turns out to be the bightest, warmest sunniest day of the week, ever!

Exhibit B: Today’s weather.

This time, we’ve decided to stubbornly go, even though they’ve predicted heavy rains, showers and downpours with the risk of flood and specifically warned against outdoor activities. Eh, we’ll take raincoats and know what to do if we get struck by lightning, God forbid. And we won’t ride if it really does rain (ptschhhh). I’d like to think it won’t rain this time. But it already is. God is taking pictures of the expression on my face as I pump an hour of cardio on the training bike, gazing forlornly out of the window and watching the torrent of downpour . I count between His Flash and the the reprimanding grumble of thunder:

One one thousand

Two one thousand

And that’s all I have time for before it crrraaaacks! Not very far away at all.

The Blob-Meister picked up his second and last fish-finger and, biting off a hearty three quarters in one go, bellowed ‘Stay indoors!’ Ok. Watch it with the breadcrumbs though, eh?

Meanwhile, Harry II, during his rehearsals for the Oliver Twist production, between the lines of chim chimini chim chimini chim chim chiroo, laughed and twirled his umbrella, ‘Going on a bike ride are you? Pah! Hah! Haha! I’m going to a GARDEN party!’ What.

Affi met the idea with silence and then proceeded with borrowed and yet untried methods on how to deal with my chronic daily headaches.

Deeja reckons the cosmos has a vendetta against us having social lives. I like to think we’re destined for greater things and the cosmos is trying to keep us safe. So, have your moozemac and if worse comes to worst, we can just go ice-skating. Or something. InshaAllah khair!